SGC Regulations
by Kyizi
Summary: SG1 are on a mission...but are they all on the same one...


**SGC Regulations**

[Kyizi][1]

  
  


**Disclaimer: **I'll fight you for 'em! :op

**Rating: **PG? I dunno. Not too bad anyway.

**Spoilers: **None.

**Series:** Um...about series 3...I'd say after Seth or thereabouts but, as above, there are no spoilers...or Laura would kill me!!

**Category: **SJR

**Notes: **One line came to me when I woke up this morning and it stemmed from there...don't expect too much I'm jus havin a little fun!

**Feedback: **as always!

**E-mail: **[kyizi@lineone.net][1]

  
  


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"You will gate out to P3X 722 as soon as...."

"Sir, I thought SG5 were there last week?" 

"They were. And they found nothing but remains. However, we believe that the natives were there. We want you to find them and learn more about their civilization. We believe they could prove very profitable. SG1 is to gate out in 15 minutes, or as soon as Dr. Jackson has been cleared by the Doctor again."

"Yeah Danny sure is spendin' a lot of time with the Doc lately." Jack grinned at Sam who smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Dismissed." General Hammond shook his head as he left.

"So what's wrong with Space Monkey this time anyway?"

"His allergy's were playing up again." Sam answered as she, Jack and Teal'c left the briefing room.

"I believe that DanielJackson said he did not wish to spend the next mission blowing his nose."

"Thanks for the lovely visual there Teal'c." Jack said as they headed for the lift. "Well lets go see what the lovely Doc has prescribed."

  
  


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"Daniel, I'm not sure we should do this."

"Why not?"

"Well what if they find out?!"

"It was the General that noticed and gave his OK! If the others find out, they'll deal."

"I dunno."

"Oh come on Janet...You know you want to."

"Yeah, I know."

"Should we ask Teal'c to help?"

"Hmm...that could make it interesting."

"Difficult to explain but..."

"Yo Danny!" Daniel and Janet quickly stood up, hands behind their backs as Jack, Teal'c and Sam entered.

"So," Jack walked towards them, frowning, "Did you give him the all clear?"

"Huh?" Janet frowned and Daniel elbowed her slightly, pasting a large grin on his face, "Oh yeah," Janet stuttered, "He's OK to go. In fact why don't you just do that Daniel, and I'll go finish my report."

"Yeah, that's a good idea, I'll just go. Teal'c, you should come too." He pulled something from her behind their backs and walked quickly to the door as Janet smiled and ran off to her desk. Teal'c raised an eyebrow and followed Daniel from the room as Sam and Jack exchanged frowns.

"Well," Sam walked to her CO, "That was weird."

"I'll see that and raise you nervousness."

"What do you think they were talking about?" 

"I have no idea." Jack walked to the door and Sam followed at his side, "But I think we should try to find out."

  
  


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Before them was a large forest fanning out in all directions. The air was damp but the grass dry. Above them the two suns shone dimly through the clouds as the wormhole behind them disengaged.

"So...where did SG5 find the remains?" Jack asked as Daniel and Teal'c walked around the MALP and down the stone ramp to join them on the grass.

"The report said that they found some remains straight ahead through the trees." Daniel replied.

"Then straight ahead through the trees it is." Jack smiled, "Lets move out."

  
  


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Slowly it moved through the trees, keeping at a steady distance from the four figures. The twigs crackled lightly, but the steady hum of the nearby river blocked out the sound. Slowly it stalked it's prey...then bumped into a log.

  
  


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"Did you hear that?" Sam asked turning to look behind them.

"Yeah, I did." Jack frowned. He'd had the feeling that they were being followed since they had stepped into the woods, his suspicion now confirmed, "Carter, you and I will go take a look, Teal'c, Danny..."

"NO!" Daniel stepped forward, "I mean, it could be a native, or, or, or, well an animal...I think Teal'c and I should go...just in case it's a native, then I can talk to them. Cuz that's what I do, I tal..."

"Please be quiet DanielJackson." Teal'c pulled his staff weapon in front of him, "O'Neill, DanielJackson and I will discover the source of the noise." He nodded at Jack then walked headed back into the trees, followed by Daniel as Sam and Jack watched them, confused.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Carter?"

"Daniel's hiding something, Sir."

"Really, ya think?" He turned to her wide eyed and she smacked him on the arm, "Attacking one's CO is a court martial offense, Captain." he smiled

"I have permission from the President to keep you in line, Sir." They smiled at each other until a large crash came from where Daniel and Teal'c had gone.

"It's OK, I'm fine. Just tripped over a branch. Nothing here, just an animal...nothing to worry about. Not that there eveOUCH." Daniel glared at Teal'c as he held the back of his head where Teal'c's staff weapon had just hit him.

"There is nothing here, O'Neill. I believe it was an animal."

"OK Teal'c. We'll head out again people, and Danny," He raised his eyebrows as the archeologist removed twigs from his hair, "Try to watch where you're going."

  
  


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"Sir what do you think they're doing?" Sam asked from her crouching position behind the large log.

"I'd say they were dancing." Jack said handing her the binoculars. She squinted into them.

"I'd say they were trying." she leaned closer to get a better look until suddenly there was a face filling up the lens, "Ahhhh." they fell onto their backs as a man crouched on the log.

"You are strangers from the water circle." he asked, his head tilted.

"Yes. Yes we are." Daniel stood and extended a hand, "My name is Daniel Jackson, This is Teal'c, Captain Carter and Colonel O'Neill." he indicated each in turn while the native inspected his outstretched hand.

The man lifted his head, "Come, Party." and with that he bounded back to the fireside.

"Well with an invitation like that, who could refuse." Jack grinned, "Well, come on people, lets party."

  
  


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"It's amazing." Daniel said wide eyed, "They're at the same level of evolution as us. At first I thought perhaps it was a species of man from earlier in evolution but it's just..."

"The alcohol?" Jack supplied.

"Well...yeah."

Suddenly a large man stepped right in front of Sam and she yelped a little as he seemed to come from no where.

"My mate fancies you." he said indicating a small, timid, curly haired man standing a few feet behind him.

"Ah...that's nice." Sam stuttered as the others snickered. 

"So," the man continued, "How about it?"

Sam's eyes widened as her team mates laughed. She turned and sent an evil look at Jack, who tried to control his smile and walked over to her, placing an arm around her shoulder, surprising her.

"Well tell your _mate_ sorry, but she's taken." He smiled and Carter watched as the man walked back to his friend, who ran away in embarrassement. Sam pulled Jack back through some of the trees, away from the party.

"Sir, this place is being run by 40 year old teenagers!"

"I know," Jack said looking back at the drunken crowd around the fire, "Great, huh?"

"Sir!"

"Oh for goodness sakes, Carter," He placed his hands on her arms, "lighten up." He grinned at her boyishly, "I'll race you back to the camp." He wagged his eyebrows at her and ran off as she let out an exasperated sigh. Throwing her hands up in defeat, she walked back to the fire.

  
  


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Sam watched as the sky darkened. The night had come on quick as both suns were in hasty retreat. She sighed at the realization that they would be spending the night. 

The party had quieted down as the people had separated off into groups...or pairs. There was a large group in the middle dancing half-naked around the fire, a smaller group to her left having a drinking competition and another straight in front of her playing spin the bottle along with her team mates as Daniel tried to explain the rules to Teal'c.

"Come on Sam, join in!" A woman about her age, who had learned her name earlier and taken every opportunity to slur it, beckoned her over to the group.

Sam shook her head but the woman grinned at her, "Oh come on, I'll steal your boyfriend if you don't." With that statement the woman jumped onto Colonel O'Neill's lap and attempted to kiss him. Sam laughed as Jack fell backwards at the unexpected force and proceeded to unceremoniously drop the woman on her back. 

Straightening his jacket, Jack walked over to her and she felt herself being pulled by the hand as he led her deeper into the forest, away from the fire. Suddenly, Jack pinned her to a tree, his full body pressing against her. Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned towards her.

"We're being watched." he whispered into her ear and she had to stop herself from groaning in disappointement.

"We have to act like everyone else, move around the camp as if we're taking a lover's walk." he pulled back from her ear until they were mere inches apart and wagged his eyebrows at her, grinning manicaly, "You think you can do that, Carter?"

She smiled, "I think I can handle you, Sir." His eyebrows raised and his grin widened as she caught herself, "I mean I can handle _it_, Sir."

"Sure you did, Carter." he whispered softly into her ear and she almost gasped at the sensation before he pulled away, slinging his arm around her shoulder as they began to circle the camp perimeter before moving further into the forest.

He leaned closer to her and whispered into her ear, "Now, you're gonna have to at least _try_ and look like you're enjoying yourself, Sam."

They grinned at each other and continued to walk. Suddenly they both halted and looked briefly at each other. They began to walk stealthily towards the small clearing from which they'd heard the noise. Quietly they both pulled out their guns and creeped forward. They stopped a few meters behind the camp perimeter, hiding behind a large tree.

Colonel O'Neill signaled and she nodded. 1......2......3......

  
  


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"Sir," she whispered, "It's the MALP!"

"Well I can see that, Carter!" He hissed exasperated. Her knack for stating the obvious was testy at the best of times. He may not be an astrophysicist, but he wasn't completely stupid.

"What is it doing here?"

"Well how the hell am I supposed to know?!" he hissed, "You're the brains, you tell me!"

They glared at each other a little before Jack signaled her to move closer. The camera was scanning the camp. Jack and Sam creeped up behind the MALP and looked into the camp to see Daniel staring at them.

"Either I'm getting worse in my old age," Jack whispered to himself, "or Daniel has been watching way to many spy movies." Sam frowned at him as he moved a little closer.

They watched as Daniel scanned the camp, frowned then looked back in their direction and shrugged. They turned to face each other.

"This was a set up."

  
  


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"I don't get it." Sam leaned against a tree as Jack paced before her, "What are they trying to do? More to the point, what do they want to see us do? And why is Daniel in on this? I mean what..."

Jack signaled her to be quiet and pulled her behind the tree as two people approached.

"...can't have just disappeared!"

"I agree. However, I have not seen ColonelO'Neill or CaptainCarter for at least half an hour."

"Me either. You don't think they figured it out do you?"

"Both ColonelO'Neill and CaptainCarter are intelligent people, however, where their feelings are concerned, they are both somewhat..."

"Stupid?"

Jack watched as Teal'c raised an eyebrow and nodded. He frowned at his friends as Sam shifted against him. It was then that he realized just how close they were. She turned and looked him in the eye. He held his breath as she gently nipped at her bottom lip.

"Gotta admit though, it's a good plan." Daniel's voice jerked them back to reality.

"I agree. However..."

"Sam's gonna be pissed when she finds out and..."

"O'Neill will be angry..." Their voices faded into the night as Jack and Sam stood up, shocked, each trying to process what they had heard.

"They tried to set us up?" Sam whispered.

"The General knew?!"

"The whole _base _knows!"

"Then why the hell didn't someone tell me?!" Jack walked away from her throwing his arms in the air in frustration.

"I think that would have defeated the purpose, Sir."

"Ya think?!"

"Hey," Sam stood, facing him, "Don't take this out on me!" Jack looked ready to reply then suddenly his face broke out into a large grin.

"What?" Sam frowned noting the look in his eye.

"They want to see a show?" Jack grinned at her, "Then we'll give them a show."

  
  


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Daniel looked around the camp. He was getting a little worried. Jack and Sam had been gone for a while now and neither Teal'c or anyone else had been successful in locating them. 

Suddenly, there was a large crash to his left and Jack came flying through the trees.

"What the hell was that for?!" Jack cried getting to his feet, clutching his left cheek.

"That was for lying to me!" Sam replied angrily as she emerged from the forest, no doubt the cause of Jack's acrobatics.

"I didn't lie!"

"Oh don't give me that bullshit Jack. I saw you."

"What you saw wasn't what it looked like." 

By this time the whole camp was staring at them and Daniel stood, wide eyed, "Hey guys, I really don't think this is the time to..."

"Shut up, Daniel." Sam looked at him briefly before turning back to look at Jack, "Do I mean that little to you?"

"It wasn't what it looked like!"

"You were both naked!"

"Well yeah but I mean..."

"And the chocolate? I thought that was something only for US."

Daniel's jaw dropped. He could see Teal'c out of the corner of his eye, and for the first time, his Jaffa friend looked dumbstruck.

"Look Sammy, I swear it wasn't like that." 

"Then what was it like Jack?" Tears were streaming down Sam's face, she looked ready to breakdown, "No, don't tell me that." she turned away, "I thought I was the only one." 

Sam took one more look at Jack before running off, head in her hands and after a few moments, Jack followed. Daniel looked at Teal'c and for once in his life...he was speechless.

  
  


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Sam ran towards the Stargate and collapsed against the ramp, unable to keep it in any longer. She burst out laughing. After a moment, she heard Jack running towards her and he fell to the ground next to her, tears streaming down his face.

"Did you see the look on Daniel's face?!" 

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone look so shocked in my life!" Sam leaned against him, breathless from laughing so much.

"The you obviously couldn't see Teal'c then."

"But did you see Daniel when I mentioned the Chocolate?"

"Hell he wasn't the only one who was surprised there, _Sammy_." They looked at each other, "I never knew you could be so kinky Carter." he wagged his eyebrows at her.

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, she grabbed him and kissed him and after a moment's shock, he kissed her back. It was a slow kiss, tender and all too brief. Slowly they pulled apart and searched each others eyes.

"I...I'm sorry, Sir...I shouldn't have done that." Sam stood up and began to walk away until she felt herself being whirled around. 

"Why?" Jack asked, pulling her right up to him, staring at her with such intensity that she had to remind herself to breath, "Why shouldn't you have?"

"It's against regulations."

"Is that all?"

Sam opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Jack ran his hand down her cheek, eliciting a small moan as she shivered in anticitaption of his next touch. Slowly, he leaned forward...

"Sam!! Jack!!" Jack groaned and dropped his head onto Sam's shoulder at the sound of Daniel's voice and she laughed lightly. 

"We're over here, Daniel." he said pulling away as Daniel and Teal'c exited the forest, followed by the MALP. Jack and Sam raised their eyebrows and crossed their arms as Daniel looked at them confused.

"So," Daniel stopped and looked at them, "You're not fighting anymore?"

"Fighting?" Jack frowned in mock disbelief, "Why would we be fighting?" he asked looking at Sam.

"I have no idea, Sir." Sam asked, mirroring his expression.

"Oh wait, I know." Jack turned back to face them, "Maybe it would have something to do with our friends and the SGC trying to set us up. You think that might be it, Sam?"

"Oh I think that could definitely be it Jack."

Daniel looked at his feet, "So you ah...you know about that?"

"Heard it around."

"Oh."

"Yes Oh."

Daniel looked at the ground then cleared his throat and began moving up the ramp, followed by Teal'c and the MALP.

"I guess we should be getting back then." He had reached the DHD and began to dial home.

"No." Jack replied, shocking everyone.

"No?" Daniel asked.

"No." Jack replied simply and pulled Sam into his arms, kissing his surprised 2IC passionately. After a few moments, he pulled away leaving her stunned.

Jack looked at Daniel and Teal'c, "If the SGC wants to play with us, then we're going to play with them." He turned to Sam once again, "You got a GDO?" she nodded mutely and he turned back to face Daniel, "Then we'll see you kids later." And with a nod he placed his arm around Sam's waist and they began to walk away.

"Jack!" Daniel called after them as he ran down the ramp, "Take this." He threw a book at them, "The General assures me it's a good read."

Jack eyed the book suspiciously, "SGC Regulations?"

"New edition." Daniel replied, "Might be a few things of interest."

"I'll keep it in mind." Jack replied as he and Sam walked back towards the forest as Daniel turned back to the DHD smiling and began to dial home again.

"It would appear that General Hammond's plan worked."

"Yes Teal'c," Daniel replied looking once again at Jack and Sam's retreating forms, "it would appear that way." He shook his head, smiling and turned back to the DHD.

"I still do not understand why General Hammond did not simply tell ColonelO'Neill and CaptainCarter about the new regulations for fraternization within the SGC."

"Well Teal'c," Daniel placed a friendly hand on Teal'c's shoulder, "this way, Sam's dad owes the General 50 bucks...and besides," Daniel smiled as the wormhole opened in front of them, "It was much more fun this way."

  
  


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END OF FIC

Well? What did you think? Bear in mind that this was written in under 2 hrs and I'm very tired!

   [1]: mailto:kyizi@lineone.net



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